Over 30 Hockey League

500th Edition

The Forum (formally known as) The PUTA Forum hits a milestone today.

This is the 500th edition and we wanted to do something special…, but like all good will intentions…, life and work gets in the way for everyone involved behind the scenes.  So we had to settle for a picture of 500 candles instead of our original planned celebration.

For decades now the forum has been used as a comedic tool to highlight and motivate players and teams.  It is not meant to be derogatory or embarrass players, but more of a comedic take and observations from the previous week’s games.

Some players are high profile targets…, many players fly under the radar and never get mentioned (that’s on you) as we always say “The Forum writes itself”..., but it does take several hours each week to research and edit each edition.

So, thank you for 500 editions of plays, goofs, taunts, cheers, chirps, celebrations, memorials, fundraisers, and 32-years of hockey camaraderie.  

It's been fun documenting and putting an artistic spin on the weekly action..., and we're not done yet so go do something Forum newsworthy.

That’s a Plus!

Two weeks ago Assistant League Director Mike Naczas let it be known that not one of Pedro Fontes 3-goals were scored during his defensive watch.

Then last week he proved that begging for assists finally pays off occasionally.

Like a proud kid looking for approval from his father…, right after Lee Nogler scored, Naz immediately started beaming and make sure everyone watching knows “That’s a Plus” and it all started thanks to his Vulcan stick and his offensive awareness.

Congrats on your first “Gimme the assist” on the season.

Naz has been so confident lately with his weight loss and previous undefeated season that he treated himself to a new Maserati and vanity license plate.

Sweetening the pot

When the going gets tough…, the tough get going. But what happens when the League Director gets scared?

We’re going to up the ante and go “All-in” and give “Team Washed” up a 3rd revenue stream for points.

Dan Broderick can now be included in the bet with Mike Naczas and Bill Abcunas but revised to (Assists Only) vs Jason Carrien (Goals Only)

We even found a video that pretty much sums up the behind the scenes negotiations that were taking place last week via text to sweeten the pot.

Surely Bill Abcunas can "be resonable"..., otherwise we're "taking this" and running with it.

However, we can’t call it “Team Washed” up out of respect for the legend that Dan is…, so let’s think of a new name.

That’s it…, “Team Marble Rye?”..., no even better; “Team Old Bags”

Team Old Bags

Bill Abcunas (3-assists)

Mike Naczas (1-assist)

Dan Broderick (2-assists)

Jason Carrien (5-goals)

Jason just remember thing…, if your Assistant Captain Dan Broderick gives you a pass for a one-timer, you need to bury it and nullify his assist.  Otherwise, if miss or you dish it off and someone else and they score…, you indirectly helped “Team Old Bags”

Hole Laws

From Google: The first law of holes is known by most: If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The Second Law of Holes: When you stop digging, you are still in a hole.

You see, it doesn't really matter how you get in the hole. The fact is that you dug a deep hole for yourself and need to put down the shovel (and) even after you have put down the shovel, you have not come close to solving the problem.

Team Building

Angelo De Luca…, we tried giving you advise on a pre-game rally chant and that didn’t work.

Let’s move on to phase 2 of team building exercises.

How about team “Trust Falls”…, but we're sure you guys will find a way to screw this up too;

Toasted and Roasted

Last week we watched Gino Tamarro “Toast and Roast” the returning to action and League Director Bill Abcunas.

As Gino stepped over into the offensive zone to go one-on-one against Billy we heard Gino exclaim “Hai voluto la bicicletta? E adesso pedala”…, which using google translate means; “You wanted the bike? Now you’ve got to ride it!”

This is an idiom that signifies that you must take responsibility for what you decide to do. If you desire something, you should not complain about it once you have it.

The phrase refers to a “bike”, but it is an example that can be replaced by anything the person had desired.

So, Bill…, “You wanted Gino…, you got Gino” and he smoked you on the way to his 7^th and 8^th goals of the season but unfortunately also their 5^th loss of the season.

However after Gino scored..., Billy gave him an expression of his own…, “You mess with the Bull..., you get the horns” which resulted in a verbal altercation.

Love Tap

Oh, and Gino Tammaro…, we thoroughly enjoyed watching you blow past Bill Abcunas for a nice breakaway goal on Scotty Rosato.

Our only complaint was the complaining and taunting after the goal. You might have thought you got Donald Brashear’d from Marty McSorley but we assure you that was a mere love tap and a compliment to let you know that you embarrassed him.

Just remember what the great Archie Bunker once said;

“Them Sicilians are famous for two things: Spaghetti and revenge.”

One of Us

To anyone that questions Bill Abcunas’ status when he is on the dek.

When Clark Kent enters a phonebooth he is a mild manner reporter…, but when he changes into his tights and cape he exits as Superman.

When Bill enters the rink and puts on that silly helmet and googles…, he’s no longer the League Director and he’s certainly not transforming into Superman.

Bill goes from a quiet sideline reporter to “Bill Rambis” an instigating defenseman with a penalty waiting to happen.

The question is…, like a small dog with a bark that is worse than its bite..., can you rise above his on dek chirping and not become a victim of his senseless nuisance barking?

Benched

Hey Royal Family…, if I was you guys, I would ask your Captain Angelo De Luca to file an appeal and put the game last week under protest.

Aside from going deep in a hole early…, you followed “Rule 3 of Holes” and tried “clawing your way out”…, and it was working as long as Bill Abcunas was on the floor in front of Scotty Rosato.

However, after being taunted by the spectators in hecklers row of “That’s a minus” for the 3rd straight time…, Bill decided to bench himself and stop your comeback dead in its tracks.

You deserve the opportunity to complete your comeback.

Highest Paid Player

Winner-Winner Chicken Dinner…, Dale McIsaac is now the highest “Paid” athlete in the Over-30 League.

Dale scratched his recent (Nelson Sousa Lucky Goalie of the Week) award and turned a little piece of cardboard into $100 bill.

Congratulations on your new contract Dale…, you are officially the highest winner so far. The “Season of giving” continues, but sometimes you must earn the award to get the prize.

Goalie Angel

Was it Dale McIsaac luck or a higher-powered intervention from above that rewarded his performance with a $100 bill?

We all know about “Guardian Angels” but maybe the league now has a “Goalie Angel” who likes to smoke cigarettes, sip his coffee and reward excellent goaltending.

Hey Nelson…, if you’re up there watching the doubleheader weekend games…, send us a sign…, Pull some strings and let’s see a goalie post a shutout this weekend.

First and Goal

It looks like Ron “The Flyin Hawaiian” Aquino must have read Gino Tammaro’s new book…, “How to be offsides in 4 easy steps.”

Ron had more space between himself and the offsides center line…, than a “first and goal” on the one-yard line at Gillette Stadium, except this time Ron was offsides first and then they scored a goal as a result off a missed call.

Everyone on the White Lies bench saw the play was offsides by a yard (except the paid employees) and they continued to loudly bitch as they watched their comeback coffin get nailed shut.

Impressive Loss

Dan Poirier Jr. continues to impress league officials as the baby of the league had another impressive performance during his team’s disappointing loss.

Sitting in the 8^th spot on the League Leaders Board…, This weekend the kid has committed to both games and we could see him make a move for the top 5 after the weekend is over.

He might even pass Mike Duggan for the most goals as he continues to do nothing since his engagement.

Reprieve

Gary Goodwin is starting his stint on long term IR with a season ending broken wrist.

Bad news for Gary…, but the good news for the rest of the league is you don’t have to look over your shoulder for a runaway freight train.

We asked former victim Eddie Chin about Gary missing games and he said “It that the guy who’s all speed and no breaks?”

That’s him Eddie..., and now players in the league can breathe a sigh of relief for the rest of the season.

We asked Gary which hand it was..., and if it was his drinking hand.

Gary declined to elaborate on his injury and that “both” hands are his drinking hand.

Good luck Gary…, and hopefully we’ll see you back for the spring season.

Doubleheader Weekend

This weekend is when we hit the fast forward button in the standings race with doubleheader weekend.

Typically, this would be the point of the season where the 5th team could be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs..., but since we expand to 6-teams everyone makes the playoffs.

The race is for one the top two seeds and the first round bye and it looks like Black Magic will potentially lock up the top seed if they don’t tank.., so the real race is for that second spot on the first round bye.