Over 30 Hockey League

1 GAA - 1 GFA

If your Steve Taddonio.., you’re sitting pretty on the leader board with an impressive 1.00 GAA. The Over-30 front office can order the Lucite Trophy now and get an early order discount as your 2023 Leading Goalie will be Steve.

But.., if you’re gonna let up at least 1-goal per game you might as well make it a good one and that’s what happened with Pedro Fontes who also has a 1 GFA (Goals For Average) and notoriously has no slapshot… but makes up it for with grit, speed and talent.

Last week Pedro bobbed and weaved through traffic.., deked through and carved up the Roadrunner defense before snapping off a picture perfect backhander on Steve.

Nice highlight goal Pedro, to bad you got nothing for your efforts (a win or award)

Déjà vu

After being down 1-0 just 53-seconds into the game.., Vulcan Grip winger Pedro Fontes ties the game as aforementioned.., only to have his moment of glory extinguished and outshined by what ABC Sports used to say “The Agony of Defeat”

Just 5-seconds after tying the game Vulcan Grip once again gives up a quick goal leading to another momentum loss and team depression

It was a total blowout… but if there is a silver lining to the story.., the blowout loss came from the best team in the league and probably the 2023 Spring Champions (if) they ALL show up for the playoffs and they ALL stay healthy.

Kayak?

No Mike Duggan did not use KAYAK to book his next trip to Philly for a tournament.

But we thought we saw Mike paddle a kayak through the high slot after scoring his 3^rd goal?

The youngster circled out of the corner and roofed an absolute bullet top corner.., before sliding on his knees for an approximate 6-10 feet before coming to a stop.  Were not sure if we saw a “Distinct Paddling Motion” or not.., but he was definitely riding the rapids after scoring.

This Old Rink

Did every catch last week’s episode of “This Old Rink”? 

It was the episode when Bob Villa aka Jon Picard uses duct tape repair the corner baseboards that Hockeytown management neglected to repair.

Huge thanks to (Pic) for caring about players safety.., because we know a player that has impaled themselves on the shoddy loose baseboards at Hocketown.

Tune in next week when “Pic” shows viewers and Hockeytown Management how to repair a leaky roof with Flex Seal.

WTF?

File this one under.., Should we be concerned?

When Mike Naczas was a Referee he would check the goalie nets to make sure they were tight and hole free.  Naz would use his own non-league suppled zipties to make the much needed repairs to keep the ball off the back of the net.

Then last week when Head Referee John Picard needed duct tape for the corner baseboards.., Naz quicky went to his bag and retrieved a roll.

WTF?  If we find out that Naz has chloroform and a prescription bottle filled with roofies in his hockey bag.., we might have to drop a dime to the Saugus Police, who recently posted a sketch artist drawing on their website seeking the help in identifying this suspicious person of interest that looks eerily familiar.

Saugus Police are seeking the public’s help to identify this individual who is suspected of committing fraud as a “Shutdown Defenseman”.., Stealing the #73 and falsely impersonating a defenseman.

He is described as a middle age man in his late 50’s to early 60’s.., he has some noticable burn marks caused by several offensive players burning him on defense.., and his distinct catch phase is “Get that shit out of here!!”

If you think you know this man, don’t approach him as he could considered dangerous as Police do not know what items this suspect may have in his hockey bag.

Call 1-800-CrimeStoppers and tell them which defensive corner the suspect was last seen laying down in.

Commitment

You heard it said over-and-over-and-over again.., playing in the Over-30 is not about the money, it’s about the commitment.

Nothing says commitment better than Colleen O’Connell who rode shotgun for 9-hours last Saturday from Maryland to Massachusetts and still made her 5:30 game.

Her co-pilot Shawn Mulchay who also made the same 9-hour trip was a no-show for their 6-2 blowout and thus not as committed to the overall cause of a repeat championship for Captain’s Mutiny.

The only problem for Colleen was she broke of unwritten rule of coming back while your team is on a winning streak without you.., or as Dale McIssac called her “A jinx”

#RespectTheStreak.., but since you broke the streak, please let Shawn (who was respecting the streak) know that it’s ok to return this week.

Song Dedication

Dear Casey Kasem,

I need your help this week.  We have a situation that we need to be put to rest.  It’s been going on for a couple of weeks now and it’s becoming a public spectacle.

We have someone on our team that could use some subtle advice about “letting it go” and moving on from a toxic situation.

Can you please play an inspirational song that will help our team refocus and get us back into a team concept.

Signed Dr Spock (Not my real name)

Well Dr Spock,

Have you tried communicating?  Or are you having a failure to communicate?

Perhaps we have just the perfect song with inspiring closed captions to motivate that individual or individual(s).

Good luck… and don’t forget to tell them to...

Hello Toronto?

Last week Angelo De Luca was robbed of a good goal.  No he wasn’t robbed at gun point.., it was much worse.., he was robbed by an out of place Referee.

The debate got heated when a call was received from Toronto insisting that they saw Angelo’s goal crossed the line.  The Toronoto Officials tried to intervene with the Referee’s insistence that they “saw nothing”.., which then led to a debate over who else has the authority to call a good goal.

According the Over-30 bylaws the Timekeeper and Head Statistician are deputized to call a good goal if they see it.  But for them to override a missed call would cause irreputable harm to the game and the Referee’s sworn duty to be in the right place to make the calls and see the goals (and assists).

If we start letting the support officials make potential game changing decisions.., who’s next, the drunks from Scoreboards Pub & Grill?  The sideline hecklers?

One Good Game

At least we got to see one good game last week.  The two earlier games were blowouts and boring.  On dek for another blowout was the last place Goombahs vs Justice League.  This reporter called for a 5-3 Justice League win with Paul Sequeira as the #1 and boy we were wrong about that one.

Turns out Gino Tammaro was the #1 Star with 2-goals and Goaltender Sean Roach didn’t play like a Texas/Arizona chain link fence with a ton of holes in it and not able to stop the migrant goals from sneaking in.

It was a much needed win for the Goombah’s to prevent an 0-5 start.

Root Cause

We did a root cause analysis on last week’s Goombah’s win.  After an 0-4 start we wondered what was different about the Week 5 win.

Was it Jason Carrien finally showing up and stepping up on defense?  No he did nothing on the game sheet.

Was it Sean Roach not stinking as much as the previous 4-games?  No we’ll chalk up his start to the season as a “four game funk”

Was it Gino Tammaro and his two goals including the GWG?  No Gino’s is always gonna score goals and gets a head start on breakaways by jumping offsides.

Our data shows that the “Root Cause Analysis” to the Goombahs first win of the season is… hired gun; Paul White.  Previously to the Goombahs first win… Paul filled in for Captain’s Mutiny (Week #3 & #4) and quietly played a key role in their 2-wins (back-to-back). 

So if you a struggling team and you find yourselves in a slump… Request Paul White to fill in for your team and remember #WLM2

Viewer Submission

We have our first viewer submission to the forum, and it comes in the form of a compliment to Ray Dow.

Getting a compliment on your hockey skills from TEAM USA Master’s Rob Sheridan is like Jesus saying, “Hey I like your sandals.”

Mythbusters would say; “Although you can’t believe everything you read on Facebook and on the internet.., we’re calling this comment “Plausible””

First 1/3 Review

With 5-games in the books we take a look back at the standings for the first 1/3 of the season and what have we learned so far;

1. The Roadrunners are the team to beat.  Players are calling them a “Stacked” team with too much speed and an MVP goalie.
2. Vulcan Grip’s team Doctor has found a suspicious spot on a recent team x-ray and he wants further testing to see if its Malignant or Benign.
3. Devil’s Disciples are quietly going under the radar without their premier forward (who is rumored to be back this week?)
4. Justice League has been described at the team you don’t want to meet in the first round of the playoffs as they are sneaky good.
5. Captain’s Mutiny has a newly hired deck hand but is starting to take on a little water and listing a little to the port side (which is the losing side).
6. Goombahs stink like mozzarella cheese left on the dashboard of a Fiat during the month of July.  Their cannoli’s are not filled all the way to the ends.., and they lost their secret sauce recipe (aka their game) which now has too much sugar in it and not species to make their “Nonna’s” proud.

Over-30 Legends

After years of missing from the Thursday Night Hockeytown League, the newly revamped “Over-30 Legends” made their season debut on Thursday with a 4-3 loss.

The “Over-30 Legends” consist of Captain(s) Ray Dow & Jim Barber who recruited legendary players from the league that include:

Goaltender; Scotty Rosato  Defenseman: Brian “Cappy” Capodilupo, Elder Lopes, Paul White, (Shaun Smith)  Forwards: Ray Dow, Jim Barber, Nick Romano, Manny Nunes, Dale McIssac, (Mike “Coldcuts” Pasciuto).

We also heard they signed Matty Iannello, Dominic Defrancisco, Jon Picard and Gary Goodwin to the practice squad.

Good luck and remember to proudly represent the Over-30 League and the brand.

30-Second Forum Wrap up

• Steve Taddonio is the 2023 Spring season Leading Goalie Award Winner
• Pedro Fontes is all speed and stickhandling (but has no shot).
• Vulcan Grip gives up too many (quick) momentum changing goals.
• Mike Duggan owns a Kayak.
• Jon Picard is the Bob Villa of Hockeytown.
• Mike Naczas may be a person on interest.
• Colleen O’Connell defined to the league what commitment is.
• Vulcan Grip gets some musical advice.
• Good Goals (Who calls them)
• Goombahs finally get a win
• Ray Dow has a “Make-A-Wish” moment.
• The return of the Over-30 Legends.
• Quick review of the first 1/3 of the season.